How often is self judgment your immediate response?
What is playing on repeat in the back of your mind?
Do you ever take time to slow down this track and identify what it's saying?
I never realized that my default setting was to judge myself until I had a chat with my friend the other day.
We were talking about feeling like we don't do enough (who can relate to that?!) and she told me that she didn't sweep the kitchen floor. She was really beating herself up because she didn't get to this chore.
But when I asked her a few more questions, she revealed that she had already gone to work for the day, vacuumed, cleaned the whole rest of the house, and exercised! She said that she was starving and just simply didn't have the energy to sweep and mop. She figured she would do it the next day instead. And even with this sound logic, she was still judging herself because didn't sweep the floors!
It's tough to change our focus - to shift it from what we didn't do, to what we have accomplished. But I invite you to pay attention to - and challenge - your self talk. What are you telling yourself? How much of a miserable failure you are for not sweeping the floors? Or how awesome and amazing you are for killing it with everything else you did that day?
A practical way to do this is to make a list of everything you accomplished in a day and congratulate yourself, no matter how long or short it is. We are all just doing our best!
Another strategy is to ask yourself what you would say if your dearest friend was in the same situation. When I practiced this for the first time, it became glaringly obvious how mean I was to myself in comparison to what I would tell my close friends. Every time you hear that nagging voice in the back of your head, challenge it head with something positive instead.
You deserve this kindness as much as anybody else. Can you give it to yourself now? :)
Thanks for being a part of the adventure my friends,